“Look, it’s time we stopped trying to be so perfect, and be who we are. We’re crazy, angry, sweaty animals! We’re not unicorns, we’re women! And we take what we want!”
But like… just imagine how cute it was when Stanley got Gompers.
“Hey, great tour, here you go man.”
Stan blinks in surprise as a baby goat was shoved into his arms.
“Uh, unless this creature can barf up cold hard cash, I don’t know why you’re giving it to me.”
“Money is an illusion, man…. you gotta appreciate how the universe gives back… plus this goat can be a sustainable resource when it gets older… you can milk her and share the wealth of nutrients with your neighbors… it’s a miracle of life ,man.
“This is a male goat.” “Oh, my tour bus is leaving, peace out, stay beautiful man, life’s a journey.” “Hey! HEY! Get back here! No one swindles Stan Pines out of his money! ALSO TAKE YOUR STUPID GOAT WITH YOU! ”
The tour bus already zooms away. Stanley stands there at a complete loss with the baby goat in his arms.
Stanley drops him outside and is going to close the door on him. It bleats pathetically and looks up at him with large yellow eyes.
“Don’t look at me like that, it’s not my fault he abandoned you. Life’s rough that way, bud. It’s better you find out when you’re young.” Stanley grumbles. The goat bleats fornlornly and Stan grimaces. “Circle of life, kid. Something bigger and stronger will come along and eat you… probably a lion…. or monster… there are monsters out here ya know…” Stanley stares at the goat for another minute. “ARUGH FINE. Just stop lookin’ at me with those creepy eyeballs.” He picks up the goat and carries it inside. “This is a temporary living situation ya got that? Ugh, I have to figure out what to call you… what do goats even eat?”
Depending on the breed of goat, Gompers actually could be a milking goat. Boy milking goats still produce milk.
May's Gravity Falls Blog 